Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
