we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
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