Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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