he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
They have beer where we have blood.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
