while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
