That's intense
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
