There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
soo... how was my night?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
