the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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