hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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