I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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