he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
