dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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