he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
