...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
