I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
