guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize