Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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