New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
