Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
