Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
