Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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