It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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