just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
