If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
