i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
