Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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