pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We're too hungover to prance.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
