Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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