yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
