she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
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We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
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It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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