bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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