There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
