there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
