I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
