Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
So much puke
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me