your room smells of hookers.
And success
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
