I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
