Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
