I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize