i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
