can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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