Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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