Do you still have your period?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
