i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
