I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
