I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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