i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Randomize
