i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
