we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
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