why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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