Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
