doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
whose parrot is this?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
