theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
