I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
