I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
