420 ftw
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
