Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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