forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
The power of my boobs compel you
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
