Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
she peed on how many people?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
