I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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