he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
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You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Mom said you looked used
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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