I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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